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Ask Adam:
Episode 001: Is he or she right for me?

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We thought we’d just get it out of the way first. Relationships. The timeless question of unconditional life long love. Is it possible to find one person who will love you forever and stand by your side until death do you part? Adam answers the first question of The League.
BTW, we know the audio sucks on this episode. Hey it’s our first one!

Length: 31 minutes
Special Guest: Don The Producer

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7 Responses to Episode 001: Is he or she right for me?

  1. The Adam 2010.11.11 3:40 am

    Wow, that is the greatest thing I have ever heard! I want 10 shares! -Adam

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    1. zoe somebody 2010.12.14 9:03 pm

      There are shares? How do I get in on that?

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      1. Don The Producer 2010.12.16 4:05 am

        Word! That’s news to me. This isn’t even a corporate enterprise… Yet.

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  2. Cuff Button 2010.12.07 11:24 pm

    I love this one, it’s so good!

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  3. zoe somebody 2010.12.14 5:37 am

    I feel like you can know if YOU can be in a long term relationship with someone from the beginning. I call it flippantly refer to as the “flag” system.

    You see the green flags first. They are the easiest and greatest. It is why every relationship is so amazing in the beginning full of passion and lust.

    The yellow flags are more difficult. Yellow flags are the differences or issues ranging from quirky to grating. Bathroom habits. Sleep schedules. Favorite foods. Bad singing. Differing religious views.

    Yellow flags are warnings not deal breakers. You weigh the yellow flags against the green and if the good seems worth the severity of the yellow flags then you are still good, but understand the more yellow flags the more “work” the relationship will require.

    Accepting yellow flags is true love. Ignoring yellow flags is what creates long drawn out miserable break-ups.

    But then there are RED flags. One red flag and the deal is off. These range in severity like yellow flags but only you know what they are. Maybe camping is your thing and you can’t imagine having a spouse who hates camping. Smoking. Drugs. Racism. Just got out of jail. But you know what a red flag is.

    Most people understandably have a hard time with yellow flags.

    But I am always shocked by how many people see a red flag and ignore it. You know what your red flags are and you need to acknowledge them.

    Honesty makes lasting relationships in all ways.

    But mostly I think human beings already live long enough to not reasonably expect or even hope for a life long relationship. People grow and change and if they happen to grow apart that isn’t bad or wrong. It is a possibility.

    So if you have a life long partner savor it because it will certainly bring with it many rich beautiful experiences. But if you don’t find that you didn’t do anything wrong. Society is pretty messed up when it comes to relationships.

    Just remember the flags — and heed them.

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    1. Don The Producer 2010.12.20 9:41 pm

      I know someone who is going through a hard time with her boyfriend. She wants kids and he doesn’t. This is a major fear of hers because she feels like her clock is ticking. Red flag? Most definitely. But what do women do when they start getting close to forty and feel they need to settle down and have kids and can’t find that guy that will provide?

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      1. zoe somebody 2010.12.20 10:05 pm

        I don’t really have an answer for what to do to FIND a relationship with no red flags. But I do know that “having kids” is a giant potential red flag in many modern relationships. All I can say is that if having kids is that important to you then you should not get into a relationship where you know your partner is not interested. Being a single parent (via adoption, surrogate, invitro, etc…) seems like it could be more fulfilling than being in a relationship with someone who will never want what you want. You can always find a partner (with or without children). It may be harder after you start the single parent route, but at least you did what you know is right for you. Honesty with self and others is the key to healthy relationships.

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