Ask Adam League

Imperfect Thought:
Technology

I will not try and hide this fact: I require modern technology.

As many of you may in fact be learning about me, I am a child of the modern era. I find it difficult to live day to day without the bits of technology we have grown to know and love. Recently my television blew its lamp. In doing this I lost access to my center of being: Video Games. I have found through my thirty odd years of existence that I require things to quiet my mind. The thing which soothes me the best is video gaming.

Now some people may very well find this odd. Others may sees this as an obvious statement. When I say however that it helps quiet my mind I literally mean that. My mind runs rampant with random phrases, comments, quotes, thoughts, ideas, the range of interjections, when I do pretty much anything. Watching a movie released into theaters I will often find myself running the usual MST3K dialogue in my mind, helpless to “sshhh” the voices from being bored or excited. This occurs more commonly with terrible movies but it happens during all movies anyway.

When I wake up in the morning there will typically be a song in my head which I will attempt to shut off for the next hour. I have learned to deal with it. It’s never the same song. It IS however the same song I recite to stop whatever song is in my head. It’s from an old CD “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” (the story, not the movie) which I will being to recall to quiet it down. I believe the song is “Wedding Bells” but good luck in finding this particular song. (Several attempts at purchasing the CD through Amazon has yielded the version WITHOUT the additional music I used to listen to growing up.)

But Video Games have a surprisingly soothing affect on me. I suppose it is because I am interacting, and those voices can now take part without speaking up too loudly. Maybe it is because I am simply a higher advanced primate and it is more like when a chimp places blocks into a contraption for a banana chip. Either way, it has become clear it is needed for me to relax.

And there’s irony in that as well. I have had the good fortune to work in the games industry for the past few years and you would think that coming home from work the last thing I want to do is delve right back into the stuff I was just dealing with. The reality is I cannot wait to get home and change drives. At work, my focus forces those other voices out because they’re not in control. At work, I am looking for ways to either break or observe and issue and get the information to the right parties. At home I am simply escaping the tedium of reality, voices and all, and engaging into a form of fiction which changes each time I play.

Being without Technology, particularly Video Games, for an extended period of time drives me nuts. I will sometimes drive out to the desert and listen to the silence of the world around me. Enjoy the natural beauty the world has at arms length. I retreat back to the places of my youth where forests of green, tropical paradise await. I then will bungee back into a need for diversion. The natural world is beautiful to me and also quite necessary, but the need for Video Games trumps everything.

Needless to say I woke up today and wanted to go to work…just so I could play a game.

Man…how sad. Oh magical deities of the dollar, please grant me 150 bucks so that I might summon forth a lamp for my DLP television! New Wiccanism don’t fail me now! (shudder) -Adam

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One Response to Technology

  1. zoe somebody 2010.12.14 9:27 pm

    Sadly I grok you all too well.

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